Her hands twitched and the corner of her lips twisted into a smile, my mind raced as the as I stared at the splattered blood ahead of me, I hadn’t meant it at all but that girls face never faded. It was a mistake an accident, a hot summer day, scorching heat, we sat together in the car listening to our favourite piece: soft, loud and powerful. It took us in surprise when it suddenly began to drizzle and my hands shook in the blink of change- in the air around- in my mind, and there; right then, I had made the mistake I had never dreamt of making. I turned and saw her lying there, hair tangled in an abundant mess over her pool of blood; her hand smashed in the corner of the door; her lips twitched a faint smile, and my thoughts froze, as I finally realised that what had happened wasn’t what I was ready for. We hadn’t expected the mist that had taken me in shock, that had caused my misery. I’d be alone, and she’ll soon be long gone, all my efforts and endless care whirled around my mind as I aw my scared reflection in her pool of blood. My eyes burned, they were the last hope of seeing the wonderful girl I’d always dreamt of wanting, and there my heart sang the tune: sometimes to love, means to let go. But I couldn’t, only time. I shouldn’t wish for my last memory of her to hold such pain, but my eyes wouldn’t move, they shrink and took all that they could: the parts that remained her beautiful, pristine smile. Her lower body lay tangled in the back seat of my car, but the blue water which was the loveliest blue stared blank at me.
My mind grew dark, and no longer did I know what I was thinking but only that one song that always shook me at its bitterness, those words, she whispered in my ears: It’s been a long while, but for long I have known that there is a lot more than just our pretty touch. I should have said it earlier, but my voice wouldn’t let me. I know your heart bleeds with longing, but this bitter truth I’ve long held from you, I couldn’t help it, the way you felt that I shall only be yours, felt wrong to me. Selfishness, not for something but for someone, isn’t that simple, I am mine. it’s been years and we have held ourselves strong, but lately, I felt selfishness was quite wrong, you depend on me way too much but that’s not all, I believe in the truth and my feelings for you seemed to be drifting away as the days seen to come, my longing is now for someone else but I didn’t say it all, I knew long before, this would come to an end, you’ll suffer without me in the pain of my absence, although I won’t, I know you are genuine to what you seek of me, but the truth bitter as it may be, I drifted away my heart seeks another, and with that, I shall leave.